Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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