No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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