ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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