you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
