What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
