check it out our google latitudes are spooning
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
