What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
