he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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