So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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