If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
