I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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