Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
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