Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
this will be a night to untag.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
