she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
