Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize