it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
