Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Life is so much better after having sex.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize