Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize