Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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