If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
