dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I want to have your abortion
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
