she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
