I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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