He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
