I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
It's shark week go big or go home
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
