He kissed a someone with a penis
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
