The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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