Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
