Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
