Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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