Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
