My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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