I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
