sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
