i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
