My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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