he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
