Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
