Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Also, beer. Big fan.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
