My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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