Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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