just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
How's work?
Spinning.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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