Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
