she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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