Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
