Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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