so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize