I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
