'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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