The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
He felt like a one man threesome
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
