Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
