Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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