I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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