I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
