Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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