u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
