I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
