yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
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