apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
