So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
