I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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