Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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